Fade in opening shot of the Tendo Dojo from above at an angle.
Voice: Ranma no BAKA!
Cut to the inside. We see Ranma walking down the hall with a red palmprint on his left cheek. He tries (but utterly fails) to look completely unfazed by what just happened offscreen. Calmly he strolls into his room and closes the door before letting his anger out - a rather futile exercise, considering the doors and walls of the dojo.
Ranma: All RIGHT! Then don't listen to my side! See if I care! [thinks] It's not as if it was my fault... Well, maybe it was, but that's no reason... Well, maybe it is; but still... She's always so... so...
He doesn't finish his thoughts as he sees a package lying on his and Genma's futon.
Ranma: Hmm, what's this? Pop's? [thinks] Heh, if it is pop's, it's probably something to eat.
He opens the package and looks inside.
Ranma: Huh? Roses? Bla- Hey, waitaminnit.
He has a flashback thought-balloon of Kunou Kodachi with one of her poisoned rose bouquets.
He throws the package in the direction of the window, but it is too late - The bouquet in the package explodes, enveloping the room (and Ranma) in a yellowish cloud of gas. Maniacal laughter can be heard from outside.
Cue Title music and opening credits:
Love hits you when you least expect it.
Love hurts you where you cannot guard.
Love obeys no rules or reasons.
Except: It always strikes your heart.
(keeping with the rhythm of the percussion, we see: Akane slapping Ranma because of Shampoo, slapping him because of Ukyou, slapping him because of Kodachi and slapping him just on general terms)
Fade in on an aerial view of the Kunou household. Cut to Kodachi's room. We see an unconscious Ranma lying on her bed in the foreground, while Kodachi is working on something in the other end of the room in front of the window.
Kodachi: Ohohohohooo! This will finally seal our love, darling Ranma! How could I - master of the sneak attack and poison - not have thought of this sooner? It was so laughably easy to locate the recipe for this...
She turns around and we see what she was working on, as she holds a bottle in her hand.
Zoom in on bottle. It reads "Love potion - allow 15 minutes for effect to set in."
With a manic grin Kodachi walks over to Ranma and lies down next to him on the bed. She drapes herself decoratively, half over him, her face but inches from his.
Kodachi: [whispers] Beloved, you must be thirsty...
She opens Ranma's unresisting jaw and pours the whole bottle into his mouth. She flings it carelessly into a corner where it shatters.
Kodachi: Digest it well, my darling. [thinks] By the time Ranma-darling comes out from under that gassing, the potion will be in full effect. He will immediately fall in love with whomever he sees first. And that will be me! I will make sure that it is.
We see her flashing back to some of her disastrous attempts of snaring Ranma - all of them smashed in the last instant. She starts to look around paranoidly.
Kodachi: [thinks] The window! I must make sure that no one interrupts us.
She strides over to the window to shut it, shouts and ducks from a splash of water flying in through the window.
The "gardener" appears in the opening as she rises again.
Sasuke: [in a "please don't kill me" voice] I am most sorry, mistress, for disturbing you. It was in no way my intention to cause harm.
He looks past her into the room and continues,
Sasuke: I must apologize again for splashing your honourable guest. I sincerely hope not to have caused too much inconvenience.
Kodachi whips around and freezes when she spots Ranma-chan where she expected Ranma. Sasuke quietly leaves, when he sees that he is miraculously saved from Kodachi's revenge.
Kodachi: I knew it! I knew someone would try to interfere.
Rushes over to Ranma-chan.
Kodachi: The pigtailed girl! She is out cold. [thinks] Ranma-darling must have come out of his sleep early and knocked her out when she tried to steal him again.
Suddenly she shudders nervously.
Kodachi: [thinks] My god, if the potion had already been in effect, he could have fallen in love with her. No!
She jumps up, clasping her hands to her bosom in a theatrical pose.
Kodachi: I must follow him and be the first one he sees when the potion takes effect. - But first...
She looks down on Ranma-chan
Kodachi: I don't have the time to deal with you, pigtail girl. You are lucky.
Suddenly she grins evilly.
Kodachi: But I know just the place to put you while I look for Ranma-darling.
She snags Ranma-chan with her ribbon and bounds out of the door with her carried behind. She leaps across the yard in long bounces and as she passes Tatewaki's rooms, she yells
Kodachi: Here, brother, a present for you.
and hurls Ranma-chan at Kunou who just poked his head out of the door.
He catches Ranma-chan reflexively. When he realizes who she is, he holds on to her even tighter.
Kunou: My pigtailed goddess! I knew you would return to me. Without doubt my sister has treated you cruelly; let me rectify that. I will allow you to sleep it off in my room and when you wake...
Again he clasps Ranma-chan to his chest. He carries her over from the door to his bed and arranges her on it like a still-life.
Kunou: [thinks] I will be the first face she sees upon awakening. She will be so grateful for what I did, that doubtlessly she will want to date me. [out loud] Yes, I will date you my love!
Akane: Are you beginning with that again? For the last time: I don't want to...
He jumps at Akane's voice. Akane is looking in from the yard through the still open door.
Kunou: Ha?! Whatever brings you here, lovely Akane Tendo? [thinks] can it be...?
He drops to one knee, and faces the ceiling with his fists clenched.
Kunou: Thank you, oh gods, for finally smiling on your humble servant. You have delivered both my loves to me on the same day - surely this means that I will finally...
Akane: [interrupts] I'm looking for Ranma!
Kunou looks disgusted.
Kunou: Why would you be looking for this despicable felon? He is not worthy of you.
Akane: [a little too loud] It wasn't my idea.
Flashback to an hour earlier at the Tendo home.
Soun and Genma-Panda are sitting in the living room playing shogi. Akane sits to the side reading a manga. She is quite amused.
Akane: [thinks] Why, that Ataru guy is almost as unfaithful as Ranma.
She furrows her brow.
Akane: [thinks] Not that I care a bit about how faithful Ranma is, or anything.
Kasumi walks in from the kitchen with a tray.
Kasumi: Lunch is ready. Father, Mr.Saotome - Akane, could you fetch Nabiki and Ranma, please?
Akane: I'll tell Nabiki.
Soun stops her as she is leaving.
Soun: You two have been fighting again.
Akane: [innocently] Not at all. Nabiki and I are in perfect harmony.
Genma: [signs] You know whom we mean.
Kasumi ignores all this, smiles and says
Kasumi: Oh, then I'll get Ranma.
The sisters exit and the fathers get back to their game. When Akane returns with Nabiki, Kasumi is already laying the table - but there is no Ranma.
Akane: Where is Ranma?
Kasumi: [looks up] Oh, he's not home. It seems that young Kodachi came by and took him along.
As Kasumi goes back to her work, Akane freezes. With clenched fists she says
Akane: Kodachi... !
and runs to Ranma's room. Everything is covered in black rose petals. She looks out of the window, but nothing is to be seen.
Akane: [mutters] Ranma no baka! How does he always get caught by that freak? I wonder why I always have to get him out of trouble.
Soun: [suddenly behind her] Ha ha ha! How nice of you, to be so concerned with your fiance's well-being. That you think of rescuing him even after fighting...
He looks stricken by such dedication. Genma looks out behind him and signs
Genma: You don't have to hurry. I'll eat his.
Akane: B-but I...
Soun: Oh, don't let us keep you. Ha ha ha, we wouldn't want Ranma to think you abandoned him, would we?
Kunou is still half kneeling. Akane spies the sleeping Ranma-chan on the bed behind him.
Akane: Sa-ay, Kunou, isn't that Ranma peeking in by the window? He probably is after the girl with the pigtail.
Kunou whips around.
Kunou: Never! I'll defend my goddess from him.
He leaps out of the window - right into the pool with Kodachi's pet crocodile Midorigame.
Kunou: [from outside] Gyeeeh!
Akane examines Ranma-chan and finds him still out cold.
Akane: Hmph! At least it seems that he didn't do anything with Kodachi. Come on, "Osage no onna".
She slumps Ranma-chan over one shoulder and leaves. At that moment a rather battered Kunou crawls in through the window.
Kunou: No, Akane! There is no need to be jealous. I love you both!
Outside view of Dr. Toufuu's clinic.
Voice: Well, let's see...
Cut to the inside. A now male Ranma lies on a stretcher and is checked by the doctor. A kettle stands nearby.
Dr. Toufuu: This doesn't seem too serious. Apart from that horrible bruise on his left cheek, of course. Whoever caught him, must have knocked him pretty badly.
Akane stares to the ground with a hot face.
Dr. Toufuu: From what I see, I'd say he is under the effect of some sleeping poison and...
He stops. Then he turns to Akane and looks her straight in the face before continuing.
Dr. Toufuu: And I'd really want to monitor him until he wakes. But, alas, I have other appointments. Akane, would you do this for me? Stay with him until he wakes up?
Dr. Toufuu: I would be really grateful If you could make sure to be with him when he wakes up. Er, until he wakes up, I mean.
Akane: [reluctantly] All right, Doctor. I will look after him.
She smiles at him.
Akane: Thanks for helping us again.
Dr. Toufuu: [bowing] It was a pleasure.
He looks after them as she shoulders Ranma again and thinks to himself.
Dr. Toufuu: [thinking] Well, I just hope this works out.
He shakes his head and returns to work.
Close up on Ranma's head with a wet towel on his brow. Akane's hand enters the picture and touches the towel lightly. His eyelids flutter a little.
They are in his room again and he is lying on his futon. A bucket of water and another towel lie close by. Akane kneels down next to him and watches as he slowly wakes up.
Akane: [softly] Ranma.
Ranma: A- Akane?
His eyes now open fully and he looks at her. After a few seconds his eyes begin to widen, and his look becomes a stare.
Akane: Uh oh. What now?
Ranma: Akane! You saved me!
Akane: Well, not really, I...
Ranma: Why, you do care about me.
Akane: Now listen, I just...
Ranma grabs her hand. His stare begins to disturb Akane more and more.
Ranma: And I thought you hated me.
He leans over to her and kisses - a pillow that Akane has shoved in his face. Her heart is thumping furiously.
Akane: What is it with you? Are you still drugged?
Ranma: I'm completely normal. We're fiancées - I can kiss you.
Akane: Just you try!
She goes into a fighting stance. Ranma gets up from the futon and faces her. Her face is quite red.
Akane: Stay away from me you weirdo.
Ranma: All right, then.
He jumps high into the air screaming
Ranma: The Flying Stolen-Kiss-Attack!
He flies towards her with spread arms ready to embrace her.
Akane: [shouts] Flying Pervert Block!
She backhands him across the face in mid-air. We hear
as his puckered-up lips connect with the back of her hand. He grabs her hand, flips over and lands on one knee before her, his lips still kissing. He effectively turned her block into a gallant hand-kiss.
Ranma: Akane, please. Will you not hear me?
He gets a facefull of water. As the camera pulls back, we see Akane holding the now empty bucket in her other hand.
Akane: Will you calm down now?
Ranma-chan still stares at her. She gets up and takes a step towards Akane. Akane takes a step back. Seeing that her plan completely backfired, she frantically slaps at Ranma-chan.
Akane: Gyeee! Get away from me! You're a girl!
Ranma-chan: I'm a boy.
Akane: You have a girl's body!
Ranma-chan: It's my boy's mind that loves you.
Akane sees Kasumi passing by the door.
Akane: Kasumi! Ranma wants to kiss me!
Kasumi: Oh? How nice of him.
She walks away again. As Akane turns back to Ranma-chan again she finds her mere millimeters from her face. Their lips connect.
Akane's Eyes widen in shock. She freezes completely while Ranma-chan kisses her. When Ranma-chan finally parts from her and looks at Akane dreamily, Akane shakes with anger.
A shot of the Tendo Dojo from above. The building shakes and the picture becomes obscured by a cloud of dust. When the dust clears the roof of the Dojo has acquired a Ranma-shaped hole.
We now see the front of Dr. Toufuu's again.
Voice: Oh dear!
Close up on Dr. Toufuu's head.
Dr. Toufuu: Why, I had no idea that he was under the influence of this love potion.
The shot widens and we see Ranma looking more like a mummy lying on a stretcher again, Akane stands looking rather flustered.
Dr. Toufuu: So he kissed you? How good that you are engaged already.
Ranma: [moaning] Naah, it was temporary insanity.
Akane looks ready to kick him of the stretcher, but she holds back.
Dr. Toufuu: [surprised] What, so you don't want to kiss her now?
Ranma: What do I look like? Some crazy fool who enjoys being beaten up by a macho chick?
He barely dodges a blow from Akane that almost shatters the stretcher.
Dr. Toufuu: That is strange. The love potion that I think this is doesn't work that way. The initial mad rush fades, but the recipient stays in love forever. The only people whose behavior wouldn't change would be those that are in love with each other already.
Kasumi: [walking in] Oh, then it must be a different potion than that, ne?
Close up on the doctor whose glasses are already too fogged up to let us see his eyes.
Dr. Toufuu: Uh, Ka- Kasumi.
He begins to fidget nervously and runs into things.
Dr. Toufuu: Heh heh, yes it must, mustn't it? Hello Kasumi, what good wind brings you here? Surely you are not ill; You look like the very picture of health.
Since he is saying this to Betty-chan, his skeleton, Akane and Ranma realize that there won't be any medical treatment to get here at the moment and Akane hoists Ranma upon her back.
They make their way back in silence.
That night as Akane lies in bed her mind replays over and over the scene of Ranma-chan kissing her.
Akane: [thinks] Hentai! Hentai! Hentai!
Her heart thumps loudly. Suddenly She remembers something else.
Ranma-chan: [in flashback] It's my boy's mind that loves you.
Echo: Loves you... loves you... loves you...
She sits up. Silently she slips out of her room and down to Ranma's. She knocks hesitantly. The door shifts open and a yawning Ranma looks out. Trying not to blush, Akane asks him
Akane: Uh, Ranma... I-I've been thinking about what Dr. Toufuu said.
Ranma: [waking up] About the potion?
Akane: Yes, what he said about its effect...
Ranma: I think he was perfectly right.
Akane's heart thumps in her throat. She barely manages to speak.
Akane: He-he was?
Ranma: Yes. It definitely must have been a different potion than he thought first.
We see the Tendo Dojo from above, from the same angle as in the opening shot, only that it is dark outside now.
Voice: Ranma no BAKA!
Cue closing music and roll credits.
Back to my Ranma ½ page.